An Advert Too Far.

 I have recently found my Hotmail email account has started to show adverts down the right hand side, and no matter how many times I click on ‘hide ads’ they keep on reappearing every time I do anything at all, let alone log in and out. Unlike the constant but small adverts of Facepage which on the whole I can blank out, these are huge and invasive and VERY annoying. As I can’t avoid them I am now being driven mad by the content of some of them.

Firstly we have the clever ‘British Mom’ who, for a start as she is from the U.K. would be a ‘Mum’ not a ‘Mom’, and has a marvellous ‘wrinkle solution’. Apparently not only do ‘Dermatologists hate her’  but the ‘Botox Doctors are furious!’

  All because she has a £3/£1 (depending on advert) ‘Surprising/Simple/Weird Old’ tip (depending on advert)  to make her look 35 when she is actually 57/55 (depending on advert). I have to say nothing so far has enticed me to click on the link, especially not the very obviously doctored before and after photos.

 I did give it some thought however and wondered why she was British, I like the fact she is clever but why British? I wonder is it because if I click on the link it will turn out that smearing shepherd’s pie on your cheeks twice a day is the secret tip. It would be simple to do, it’s certainly surprising and it’s most definitely weird! It is also a traditional British dish and therefore who better to ‘discover’ and promote it than a clever British person? On top of that if you can't find a celebrity who else out of all the British stereotypes is better than that doyenne of domesticity, the harassed yet apparently wrinkly British mum?

Did you see those amazing photos? One minute she was giving a prune a run for its money, the next there she is, with glowing peachy skin as smooth as a baby’s whatnot and all because of a little shepherd’s pie. Her husband can’t get over the change nor can he get over the smell but every dog in her home town worships and adores her. So they all lived happily ever after, so happily in fact that she has decided to generously share her secret with us all! (much to the chagrin of skincare specialists everywhere.)

                                                           Mmm Shepherd's pie!

The second lot of ads I shall discuss here are the ones that have had me positively ranting (just ask Himself!) They are mostly to be found on Facebook and have been around for a while. At the moment they sport a plethora of different pictures of the current nation’s sweetheart Cheryl Cole. 

Now clearly someone has done a little research, and when I say a little, I mean a little. 

They have done enough to know that Cheryl is the current nation’s sweetheart but clearly not enough to actually bother looking at any pictures of her. For let’s face it, if they have they would realise that for someone as tiny as Cheryl to lose ‘3 stone/2 stone/16lbs’ (depending on advert) of ‘Belly Fat’ (don’t get me started on the term belly fat!!!???!) with this one ‘Weird/Simple/Strange’ (depending on advert) tip then she would probably be dead! I mean does Cheryl even weigh 3 stone? If anything someone should be giving her a tip on how to put some fat on!

                      my personal favourite of the pictures of Cheryl they are using on their ads.

I know the logic behind these adverts. I mean if I knew I could go on stuffing my face and lounging on my fat arse and still lose stones by eating a grapefruit whilst standing on my head at 5.36pm on a Tuesday, I’d be down the shops buying grapefruits faster than Usain Bolt. I know the only way I am going to shift the extra pounds is by eating less, eating healthier and exercising more, but we all want an easy option, of course we do. The sad thing is if they had been a bit more clever with the advert they might get a lot more hits, even a cynic like me might have thought ‘Hmmm I just wonder.....’   

especially if they had refrained from talking of Belly Fat and Cheryl Cole, the two have certainly never met in this lifetime.

Himself reckons the only possible option for ‘one’ tip that gives massive weight loss is liposuction. I wonder though...... Shepherd’s pie anyone?

*edited to add, just checked out one of the adverts it's not liposuction it's colonic irrigation - NICE!*