A Weighty Issue.

Two articles, one magazine and one newspaper have had me pondering the somewhat depressing issue of my expanding girth.

The magazine article was about Fearne Cotton, who said something along the lines of  'I never exercise I hate it, luckily though I can eat whatever I like and never put on an ounce'. I had two thoughts one was 'Yeah RIGHT!!' you can bet your life she is actually exercising/weight watching with the best of them.
The second was if it's true, beware Fern oh beware, for it will catch up with you eventually. I know this, I speak from experience.

 I would class myself as quite a lazy person, the mere thought of exercise of any kind makes me feel ill. Yet despite a couple of massive weight ups and downs, (more of those in a moment). I had a long period through most of my 20's and 30's where I was indeed able to eat and drink as much as I liked, do no exercise what-so-ever and it had no effect on my waistline. I stayed blissfully slim with no apparent effort.
Yet when I give it more thought that isn't the case. I was actually always on the go,  I had a job that kept me on the hoof all day and most nights I got home, changed and went straight out, often without eating.

That also got me to pondering whether I really am as lazy as I think. As a little kid I was always out playing and was thin, then between the ages of about 8 to my early teens I was a small solid barrel of a child. I tended to stay in and read all the time then. For my 13th birthday I got my first grown up sized bicycle. I rode it pretty much every spare minute I had and I guess that combined with shooting up in height from 5ft to 5ft 11' lost me that 'puppy fat'!
By my late teens I played tennis, badmington and hockey. I was even in the Hockey team at college! Not bad for someone who professes to hate all exercise is it? So clearly I have actually *become* lazy over the years and now I wonder where has all my get up and go gone?
 I have the same job but now I come home and collaspe in a heap, and one who shovels in food and then slumps in front of the T.V. until bedtime at that. Not good.

The second article was about how stress is making us fat.How stressed people crave sugar and carbs, how the majority comfort eat and how they store fat round their middles. Again here was something I can relate to. Right now life has been flinging curveball after curveball at me and my response is to reach for either cake or potato in large and comforting quantities.I have always found comfort in food, I know this well it is not as if I have had a sudden potato based epiphany. Equally I don't seem to be able to stop myself, contrary to what the magazines tell you, knowing and accepting is not my cure.
I have had one similar stressful time in my life and also ballooned in weight then too.

This is definitely the biggest I have ever been though.

I then thought about times when I was thin. Interestingly the one time I was desperatly under weight was when was having the time of my life, backpacking round America. At the time I was still battling to gain control over my clinical depression and chronic panic attacks, I was dreadfully shy and insecure. Thankfully the trip was the making of me, I learnt a lot about myself and started down the path of loving myself and feeling at peace, basically of being comfortable in my own skin.
I came home tanned and happy and full of life....... and also painfully thin. Kind of like a convalescent who has battled some terrible illness.

I have been underweight, I AM overweight and the only person who can do anything about it is me. I have another battle on my hands and right now I'm on the ropes, though not yet defeated.

Mind you. Perhaps instead of blaming my stress or my lack of willpower or my sheer gluttony, I shall blame Himself.! I was a weeny size 10 when I met him. Since we have lived together I have gained and gained clearly he is a bad influence on me!