Tuesday 3 June 2014

Friends, Collecting and Remembering

I need to write this post because otherwise another week will go by with me having no inspiration/inclination and I fear I may just stop all together.

It's been a fairly emotional couple of weeks, that thing again of people around me getting kicked in the guts by life and the funeral of a friend.
He died after a fall down some stairs which is just... ugh I don't have words, I have to say it has affected me more than I expected.
It's weird because it was a truly beautiful funeral, full of joy and laughter as well as tears, but as a few of us said afterwards it just seems to have really got to us all.
Murray was one of the nicest, kindest, most intelligent people I have ever had the joy to know. We met working at the library and became good friends after we made it past the terrible shyness that blighted us both.

The church was so full we had to stand in the aisle and they couldn't shut the doors, there's a sign of what a lovely man he was and how much people thought of him, I can't imagine I'd have half so many if I karked it tomorrow!

It was also like a snapshot of my 23 years at the library, stretching from my first ever boss, to various colleagues from over the years. It was good to catch up and we had a bloody good laugh about some of the things we used to get up too. Good times, good times.

I think the thing that really tickled me was that the remit was no black, please wear bright colours. This was followed by a flood of emails and Facebook messages from panicky people wondering what on earth to wear??

The best bit was every single one of them was a man!!

It seems your average bloke has a black suit that does for weddings, funerals, court appearances etc and they are completely thrown when expected to wear something that's smart but not black.
Himself was no exception, being an old metal/goth fan, a couple of pairs of blue jeans are about as light as he gets, when it comes to trousers it's black all the way!

Murray's brother said something that made me think, "I'm the man who knew him the longest, but I somehow feel I'm the one who knew him the least". As I said to him this is no strange thing, I mean if you don't share the same interests as your sibling, you don't take the time to get to know the ins and outs of their passions, or even the friends they share those passions with.
I know that is certainly the case with my family.

Casing point, my parents came over at the weekend and my Mum was looking at a couple of my vintage handbags (admittedly there were about 4 of them on the floor downstairs for one reason or another!)
After saying "your Nan used to have one like that" She sighed and said "Why do you keep buying them? You can't use them all, it's a waste of money." Thus it has always been with my Mum, and my brother come to that, both of whom like clutter free clear surfaces and cannot understand my passion for collecting and my love of 'stuff'.
Mum was always throwing out my stuff when I was younger which of course made me hold on to things even more. We had endless rows when I got older and she 'cleared out' my room.
 Now all she can do is tut and sigh when she comes to my house, ha!

Anyways other than getting rather melancholy I have been pottering in my garden when the weather let me. Look at my lovely oriental poppies
We also went to see a screening of the Broadway production of Driving Miss Daisy starring Angela Lansbury and James Earl Jones at The Phoenix Cinema in Jericho, Oxford.
We went for a drink in Jude the Obscure before and after, and I was thrilled to see how beautifully it has been refurbished.

I also bought some new buttons for that cotton dress I got in Bournemouth. I decided to go for something quirky and I'm pleased with how they worked out.

 I may even take a picture of me in it.... or not.


  1. Yes, please do take a photo of you in that lovely frock.
    And please keep blogging, I'd miss you if you stopped. It's true that losing a good friend is a terribly sad thing, of course it is. And it is bound to make you feel reflective and low. But I think blogging can be a good activity in those circumstances, a place to vent a little and get some support. We all know life isn't all charity shopping and frocks and nice stuff - sometimes it's bloody shitty.
    So I'm really sorry about your friend Murray, but his funeral sounds amazing, a true testament to him.
    Yes, families are often odd, in that we have all known each other all our lives, yet frequently have little in common, and out friends actually know us far better. I'd say that's true in my family too. Don't let your mum chuck out any of your handbags, Gisela!
    Hope you feel a little brighter soon, love. xxx

  2. I'm sorry to hear about Murray. It's good that he had so many people to say goodbye to him.

    Augh, parents throwing things out! For years I thought I was really careless because I kept losing my treasures - it was only when I got older that I realised whenever we got relocated (Dad was in the Air Force) Mum threw out things she didn't think were worth taking. I bet it's why you and I are pack rats now, because we never know when things are going to disappear without our permission. And in my experience, people who 'don't like clutter' buy far more stuff, they just don't keep it as long...

    Those poppies are splendid.

  3. How very sad about Murray, I'm glad you were able to see him off beautifully and stylishly.
    Curtise is right - as always - bad news does make one reflective and wonder what its all about but if I didn't have my blog to share pretty, trivial things with like-minded people I think Mum's death and Dad's subsequent decline would have been much harder to deal with.
    Hold on to those handbags! xxx

  4. I'm so sorry to hear about your dear friend, Murray, how unbearably sad. The funeral sounded like a wonderful tribute to him surrounded by masses of people who he touched, unexpected bad news really can knock the wind out of your sails, I think it's good you share and I really hope it helps in some way.
    Keep your bags, you value and adore them and that's whats important and I would love to see you in the dress! x x x

  5. So sorry for your loss, Gisela. No wonder you're in reflective mood, time to catch your breath perhaps, take stock, allow the healing process to start.

    I hope you're finding the garden helpful, those poppies are just so beautiful! Thanks again for your gardening advice, I'm still on the hunt for 1930s books/pamphlets, and will let you know if I find any.

    Another vote from someone wanting to see you in that dress...

    Take care of yourself xx