On the Question of Children.

So yesterday Himself and I left our visitors sleeping and headed back to work after 2 days off and I have to say I was actually kind of glad to go back.
Despite what most zodiac character descriptions for Cancerians say, I am not a homebody who loves to have her house filled to bursting with children and guests.
I am an uncomfortable host, mostly I think this is because I am not a confident cook and my house always looks like an explosion in a thrift shop. It's not dirty but it is untidy and very, very full of 'stuff' Basically I feel embarassed and prefer people not to see it. 

Anyway whilst it was lovely to see family again, hand on heart, nephew number two at 18 months was hard work. The fact the poor wee chap was not 100% well and did cry/scream on the top of his lungs a LOT does factor into that but even so. On a side note, I supose that was a fitting return for the many unannounced pounding all night parties our neighbours have had. Though I did still feel guilty at 3am after he had been howling solidly for an hour, the walls are pretty thin!
It did leave me pondering over the whole 'children' question as I walked to work from the station.

I have never wanted to have children and have never hidden that fact. Many people immediatly assume this means I hate children and am without a maternal bone in my body. Not true. I adore my 2 nephews (except maybe when screaming!) and including them I am a proud godmother to 5 children. I love to play with friends kids and I am often first in line to have a cuddle when someone brings a new baby into work, and that is what people really don't get. How can you love kids but not want one of your own?
I was always being knowingly told 'you'll change your mind when you are older' or 'when you meet the right man' or 'when the biological clock starts ticking'. They could have been right, you never know, but none of the above happened as it turns out. I didn't change my mind as I got older, my biological clock has refused to tick and Mr Right didn't tip the balance either.
In fact I was happily tripping along through life without any great plans for even a Mr Right, that was most definitely an unexpected and wonderful life bonus. Usually the minute a bloke got even slightly serious I fled so fast I left skid marks on the road! No real reasone for that either, I'm not a wild free spirit nor am I too deeply scarred by some evil man in my past to go near another.
Anyway when I realised Himself  was here to stay and for once I wasn't running but also staying and happy to do so. I raised the 'baby' question. I told him I didn't want kids and that I was not going to change my mind on that issue, and if he did, then we had better call it a day before we got involved any deeper. As it turned out he hadn't really thought about it much and didn't mind not having any, so we got serious. Thankfully he hasn't changed his mind in the last 14 years, if anything he has gone more to the other extreme and is adamant about not having children.
I have been called uncaring, selfish and un-natural. Whereas I think I definitely would be all of those three to have had a child I didn't want and therefore resented.